We all have a past that helped shape the person we've become, some more painful than others. Through reading this it hit me how hard it actually is to let go of that past and begin living in the present. I've encountered numerous people who blame his or her actions on the things that happened to them. What I think these people lack is the ability to let go. They become so caught up in their own pain they become engulfed in its misery and fail to move forward. Every person has gone through something, not to belittle an individual's pain, but the difference between the triumphant and the defeated is that one had the ability to move past this.
As a child it's harder because we don't have a lot of life experience and we're still shaping who we are. But as an adult I find it's equally as hard for some people because even though age says they're grown-ups they never actually matured. Maturity is to see outside of yourself and to see outside of what's happened to you towards what you know is right. Being an adult means you are now capable of making your own decisions in a way that resembles free-will. You can't blame your past for the choices you choose to make in the present. You know right from wrong (with exception of certain mental disabilities). You can no longer blame your choices on something else. Your past is no longer here. At this point it's just You.
Whatever happened shouldn't be forgotten or excluded, but defeated. To defeat it you must deal with it. Deal with those emotions and don't be reduced by them. Choose to be better because of them. Cry, scream, write a letter, spend 3 hours/days/months talking to your friends or your therapist, but DEAL WITH IT. Until you've dealt with it you can't move past it, and if you can't move past it you will always be a slave to it, and becoming its slave is Your Choice. This takes a lot of courage because without your pain you may not even know who you are anymore, and that's a scary place to be. But you have to remember whoever you are without the pain is better than the person you were yesterday, and the person you'll be tomorrow is better than that. Begin the search for who you wish to be, and hold onto that. Spend every day from here on out not continuing the cycle, but starting a new one. Motivate someone else to get through it by showing them that it's possible. Be better. Be greater. And most of all, Be You.