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Real Friends

"It's Not Many Of Us...We Smile At Each Other, But How Many Honest?"

“Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn’t stop for anybody.”
– Stephen Chbosky

          One of the saddest lessons I’ve had to learn over the years is that not all friends stay with you forever. You acquire some friends that become like family and absolutely nothing will make them leave, and then you have some friends you acquire based on the life you've decided to live at the moment. My mom always used to tell me, “Most of the friends you have now won’t make it to your wedding.” I used to think she was crazy because those were my girls and they were going to be there no matter what, and I just knew it! But yet again, as she somehow always is, was right.

            I went through some phases growing up, as a product of some things I was going through. I developed friendships with pretty much every type of person along the way. As I tried to look for the type of person I wanted to be I ran into basically every situation and every situation came with a new friend. Each time I was amazed at the quality of friendship and my heart warmed with how great each friend was. I’d keep them for a year or even more before I started to share some more personal things and that’s when they’d start to fall away. Somehow I had attracted the most selfish of the selfish, the neediest of the needy, and the most untrustworthy of all the dishonest. Many times when push came to shove and I needed people to have my back there was no one to be found.

          I’m the type of friend that if we really connect you become like family and we may fight but I’ll always be there. I will always answer when you call and help with whatever and whenever I can. Oddly enough that attracts people that need that in their own life, but are the least capable of providing that for you. It’s all a learning experience. Some friendships just don’t last. We are constantly growing and changing and deciding who we want to be and what we want to do. We become more concrete in our personalities every day. Some people will change with you and some people won’t change at all. It’s naïve to think everyone with you from day one will make it with you to year 10. And it’s not even the worst thing in the world!
          It’s not the quantity of friends you have but the quality. A few great friends will ALWAYS be better than a lot of superficial ones. Even all of those “great” friends won’t make the transition with you into adulthood, and that’s ok! At the end of the day just be true to who you are no matter what. People who are like you, with the same goals and morals will gravitate to you as an adult, unlike the more selfish one’s did as you were growing up. These people are attracted to you for you brain, your ambition, your similar interests, and similar style of friendship. They will have similar hearts and you will begin to feel fulfilled by these relationships. You will keep friends from before, but becoming an adult changes everyone, it’s inevitable, and not everyone comes along for the ride. The most important thing to always remember is to just Be You.
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