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Sometimes It's What's On The Outside That Counts

“You should never be surprised when someone treats you with respect, you should expect it." ― Sarah Dessen

          The post for this week is about showing the world that you are from the outside in. I touched a little on this in “Advice From the Baeless,” but felt it was really important to be able to give it more attention. As females we have already been handed a burden by society. Since the beginning of humanity the woman has been valued strictly as the homemaker. Her responsibilities were limited to taking care of the house, making dinner, making sure the kids were cared for, etc. If you are a minority woman you also have to handle the given prejudices of your race as well. So, to be taken seriously for any woman is a challenge from birth.

          When we begin to devalue ourselves we cost ourselves years of hard work, beginning with the way we dress. I’ll be the first to say I wear some pretty revealing things, but it’s how you wear them that matters. If you’re young and in your prime take full advantage of the body you have! You’ve worked hard for it and won’t look that way forever, but also remember to be appropriate. If you’re older, cover yourself up more and dress your age. You’re an elder now and young women look up to you, so dress the part. Also, act with maturity. Whether you know it or not people look to people older than themselves for advice and how they should conduct themselves. Be a role model of good behavior, qualities, and how hard work pays off. Growing up comes with it’s own burden to teach, don’t neglect that responsibility.

          Be appropriate for your surroundings. Maybe for a chill cookout with your friends a deep V-neck isn’t necessary. If you’re going to the club you don’t have to be covered like a nun, but make sure the important parts aren’t visible (butt, breasts, vagina). Also be aware of your body. Every woman has different size everything from the next. Something someone else wears may not be as revealing on you, and therefore acceptable, or may be wayyy too revealing and not acceptable. Dress in a way that is both not too revealing, but tells the person what they need to know about you.

          It’s sad to say, but people are judged on their appearance every day. Appearance is all you have before you get to know someone, so if you dress like a hoe people that don’t know you are going think you’re a hoe. Guys may like it and you make get a lot of likes on Instagram, but no one is taking you seriously. Guys won’t, because who wants someone who’s already shown everything they have to everyone else. Jobs won’t, because it shows you’re immature and unprofessional. Other girls won’t, because girls with morals and values don’t want to be aligned with someone who seems as though they don’t have any. You dress for the life you want to live, and how you want to be perceived. If you dress like you want to be successful people are going to think you’re either already successful or about to be. So, appearance is half the battle.

           Young women have to remember that we’re being objectified always. The only way to fight that is to present ourselves in a way that demands respect. Be careful with how you let people speak to you. Have a goal beyond wanting to be someone’s wife. I’m not saying don’t cook and don’t clean, because you’ll be hungry and dirty if you don’t, but don’t make that everything. Read, explore, research, and work towards something. Make something of yourself that makes people want to know more about who you are. Help take strides to make the world a better place. Use the resources we’ve been given by women before us to pave the way for the women who come after us. Do something to make it so your daughter has it easier than you, your mother, or grandmother did. Do something so she has the ability to be whatever she wants! Make people treat you with respect for the things that you’ve done and the person you are, because you’ve earned it. Dress for success. Be better than the last. Make room for the next. Be a woman, not a little girl, and most of all, Be You.

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