Lastly ladies, if you can't trust your man LET HIM GO. I know love is a crazy thing, but trust is a MUST in relationships. I'm not perfect, I've gotten caught up in the lurking and rumors and things myself, but it never did anything positive for me. A quote I love that says this best is, "If you go looking for trouble that's exactly what you'll find." Even if it's nothing you'll make it something because that's what you're looking for. If you are confident in yourself, your relationship, and your lines of communication are open you won't even feel the need to lurk. If you do feel the need to lurk you need to have a conversation with your significant other about your feelings and why you feel it's necessary to check up on him, and go from there. If he's not understanding, compensating, and willing to compromise in your relationship then you need to re-evaluate.
I'm not saying to be naive. Not every guy is trustworthy, and if that's the case you need to re-think if you should have gotten with him in the first place. If you choose to be with someone though, you need to trust them. NEVER enter a relationship where you already feel the need to lurk on what he's doing, who he's with, where he's been, check his story, etc. You're asking for trouble, stress, and inevitable relationship failure. But if someone says, "Hey girl I heard such and such..." it is okay to do some follow-up. DO NOT TAKE IT TO SOCIAL MEDIA!!! Inviting other people into your relationship like that by spewing details all over social media to people you probably don't even know that well is immature and a terrible idea. Relationships are between TWO, SAY IT LOUD, TWO people. You take it straight to him and you talk about it calmly and rationally. If you trust him and what he says then you leave it. If you begin to hear things still then you can investigate a little more, but NEVER EVER accuse someone of something without proof. Without proof you really don't know. If you don't have proof, but still don't believe what he's saying you need to re-evaluate your relationship and see if it's the right one for you.
Also remember for those of you that have been hurt before that the person you're currently with is NOT THEM. Just because your last boyfriend cheated on you does not mean every man in the world is a cheater! You have to enter each relationship, as hard as this is, with a blank slate. It is not fair to him to have to carry the burden of another person's wrongs. You need to sit with yourself and learn to forgive that past person for what happened in your relationship. That doesn't mean you have to reconcile with them, see them, or even speak to them, but you need to come to terms with what happened, that it is not your fault and it's not your current boyfriend's fault either. Now if you out here actin a fool trying to fight girls, always checking up on him, reading through his texts, accusing him of stuff and starting fights, etc. then you probably pushed him away and need to become more secure before you enter another relationship.
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